Battle of the Sexes

[BrotherBill]

I've never been much of a fan of forwarded email, but I got this from one of my brothers. Just had to share.

I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I get into bed and, well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.' I said, 'WHAT?! What was that?!' So she says the words that every man on the planet dreads to hear... 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.' She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?' Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just take them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said we should get a pair for each outfit.

We went over to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet and she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.' Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled 'WHAT?!'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

[Fergal1982]

ive seen that before. the final line has been cut short though. in my version it read:

'Apparently im not having sex tonight either, but at least the bitch knows im smarter than her.'

good one though. i love that story.

[BrotherBill]

Originally Posted by Fergal1982

ive seen that before. the final line has been cut short though.

Apparantly, by the time it got to my brother, someone must have realized that they can't say that and still sleep at night with both eyes closed.

[sayad]

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

i like the ending lol :P


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